How Can I Have a Phone?

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This morning, I ran across an engaging article on my cellular talker (aka cellphone.) [Link] The article was entitled “Android Vs iPhone User Poll Shows Two Very Different Groups Of People” and the thesis of the article was that iPhone (Fruit) and Android users have substantial (statistically significant albeit not in the words of the authors, so presumably the study is not rigorous?) differences.The sample size was a kilo of each type of “user.” 

Before proceeding, I feel the need to express my personal outlook on cellular telephones, A lot of years ago, I was issued an AT&T “fliphone” by my employer, the Yankee Army. My instructions were to only use it for official Army purposes (which were left to my discretion to determine) and (most intriguingly) I was to turn the phone off when I was not using it. Since none of my co-workers could contact me if I followed this guidance, I asked about this and was met with abject surprise by the officer in charge (a second lieutenant) of distributing these “official” phones on post. 

I never did get a response to this between when I received the phone and when I retired. Evidently some things are beyond the capacity of the Yankee Army to comprehend, or, at least, pay any attention to. (I often thought the latter was the situation.)

In an effort to get some appropriate use out of what was then a ridiculously expensive toy, my secretary and I, mostly her, drafted a check-in schedule when I was out of the office. Additionally, I used the device to flee boring meetings by pretending it was time to check-in. And often, of course, run like Heck away. 

I learned later that the Yankee Army paid a thousand dollars for each of these phones – a bargain in those days because they were buying a WHOLE LOT.

I went through this procedure twice – that is, two phones – before cellular telephones (and their networks) had proliferated to an extent where I bought my own and turned the official phone in. 

Anyway, getting back to the article, some of the stats are:

  • On texts sent per day, iPhone users reported approximately 58 texts, while Android users said they sent just 26 texts;
  • For “time spent looking at their phone per day,” iPhone users reported they spent an average of 4 hours, 54 minutes. Android responders suggested they were on their phone 3 hours, 42 minutes per day.
  • During that time, iPhone users said they took an average of 12 “selfies” per day. Android users said they took around 7.

In comparison, I generate an average of 2 SMS/week and receive 4. I don’t know exactly how long I am “on” my phone each day, but it’s less than a hour almost all the time. And if I’m at home I use the land line. And I take an average of one photograph per month, none of which are selfies. 

The social stats are:

  • Average salary • iPhone – $53,251 • Android – $37,040
  • Ideal weekend night • iPhone – Out and about with friends  • Android – Curled up on the couch watching TV/movie or reading a book
  • Leisure trips per year  iPhone – 4 • Android – 3
  • Number of close friends  • iPhone – 5 • Android – 3
  • Money spent on clothing per month • iPhone – $117.13 • Android – $62.36
  • Money spent on tech per month • iPhone – $100.88 • Android – $50.83
  • Money spent on makeup/beauty products per month • iPhone – $82.71 • Android – $40.40
  • Cat or dog? • iPhone – 50% prefer dog, 19% prefer cat, 31% no preference  • Android – 44% prefer dog, 26% prefer cat, 30% no preference
  • TV shows • iPhone – Game of Thrones, Grey’s Anatomy, Friends, The Walking Dead • Android – NCIS, Law & Order, SNL
  • Movie genres • iPhone – Horror, Drama, Romance • Android – Thriller, Action, Adventure

In comparison, I made considerably more than either when I was still working and my retirement pension is also larger – after taxes. I don’t go out at night except for special occasions, maybe one per month. My ideal weekend night is going to bed so I can get up early and walk before the sunlight whacks the weather. I have few close friends because they keep dying. The bulk of the money I spend each month is on food and utilities; I buy new underwear every five years or so. I don’t have a pet because She Who Must Be Obeyed won’t let me have one. My favorite TV shows are old episodes of MASH and such like that I watch via a DVD player. I haven’t been to a cinema in years.

Since the survey didn’t address gender or age cohort, I suspect the sampling was skewed. 

 

School Stuff

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My incoming email today has been heavily laden with advertisements for “go to college stuff.”

This includes things like: computers; coffee brewers; and in-ear audio devices. [Link]

This takes me back to my own off-to-college time. That was this time of year in 1966. 

That’s almost sixty years ago. And it was the worst and best time of my life.

The worst part was my parents alternating between moaning over my leaving their house and thinking of something else – usually extraneous – that I needed to do in preparation. This unpleasantness was intensified by my parents having left Huntsville for Guntersville the day before my high schule graduation. Which I would have gladly skipped as a meaningless ritual except for their insistence – which made it a meaningless, painful ritual. 

I have to admit that I have been back to two high schule reunions since – none after the first fifteen years – and none of any of the colleges I attended. I won’t offer a reason for the absence. Anyone who has been a smart kid in a typical high schule over-enthused with inane athletics and pornographic rituals knows what I mean. My attendance at these reunions was prompted by an interest in discovering if the inanity and decrepitude of my fellow students had decreased.

It hadn’t. The people who were nasty and boring in schule had, somehow, become nastier and more boring. In effect, the interesting, smart kids left high schule and never looked back. Much. 

The best part of high schule was moving away. I managed to parlay going to college into going back home only two or three times a year. Christmas, at least until grad schule, was inescapable. And Summer term was too short to not go home. But not having parents and siblings around was one of the better parts of college.

Not having parents telling you how you were studying wrongly, both  methodologically and subject-wise, was the best part of being in college. Except maybe for their categorical behavior demands. 

And – mostly – without that list. In those days, televisions weighed close on a hundred pounds and had lots of glass tubes. And besides, the college administration forbade students living on campus to have a television. There was one in each dorm but they were monopolized (and controlled) by the upper class-men – the few who hadn’t moved off campus to apartments. 

The same was almost the case for coffee brewers. For one thing, in those days, most freshmen didn’t drink coffee. Especially in the Sowth. Iced tea was the preferred stimulant. Which was available in the cafeteria, a hundred yards away in the herd dorm. But I did have an induction heater and a ceramic cup so I could heat a cup of water for cocoa. 

And I had one of those Japanese marvels, a transistor radio that weighed less than a pound (weight.) And the campus wireless station played a lot of classical music so that was a boon. 

Except for the upperclassmen who had stereos that boomed rock music all the time. 

So college hasn’t changed much. Or has it?

Approximate PI Day!!!!

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Today, 22 July (This Year) is Approximate PI Day. That is 22/7 ~ 3.142857143 whereas Pi = 3.14159……….

Most inept calendarists avow that approximate Pi day is March 14 -> 3-14 -> 3.14 which is mathematical nonsense as well as logical nonsense of using MDY instead of DMY (or YDM). 

The commonality of this claim is a rigorous indication of how mathematically illiterate and inept Amerikans are in general. I am constantly amazed that Joe Citizen can accurately count the money in his/her wallet.

Anyway, have a good Approximate Pi Day!