Thorsday Mumblings

Someone should tell Fartus Maximus about Charles #1. It ain’t always smart to micturate Parliament.

And it occurs that if Fartus Maximus is going to dump illegals in sanctuary cities, maybe all the anti-vax measles kids should be sent to Caucasian House?

Fake Aristocracy

Why is it that I have three Congress Critters who represent me and neither of the Repulsians bother to respond to anything?

Just who are they representing? 

And whose well-fare are they concerned with? Not mine I think.

Report Retort

Has Fartus Maximus admitted to being a hedge witch?

Who primarily spends his time concocting “love” potions?

Is the Caucasian House to be sided in gingerbread?

Is an oven awaiting?

Life in Alabama

The other day, I came across an article [Link] entitled “Showy male primates have smaller testicles” and it struck me how this described an aspect of Life In Alibam!

The article describes how male primates either have substantial sperm generating capacity or they have substantial visual attraction to the opposite gender. 

But, almost never, both.

In Alibam, we have two types of male human primates: those who drive trucks (primarily pickup trucks,) and those who drive something else. 

The former group are characterized by the truck: a vehicle that dominates the roadway; that cannot be successfully steered with any finesse; that cannot be kept in lane except by the most expert of drivers; that is responsible for the majority of highway collisions and fatalities.

The truck is basically a substitute for the magnitude of the impregnation organ, at least in magnitude if not in functionality. A male human primate who “drives” a truck is unarguably “male.” (A female human primate who “drives” a truck is unremarkable; such is the difference between male and female human primates.) 

Male human primates who drive trucks are often frustrated by their inability to control their vehicle adequately and thus become insecure and haunted, which further deteriorates their ability to “drive” their truck and deal with society. This is the primary causation of all that is wrong and evil in Alibam society, which is considerable. 

It is worth noting that the head coaches of the state’s two primary universities’ (American) football teams only drive trucks in commercials and are paid for doing so. 

The second group of Alibamians, those who do not drive trucks, are generally quite competent drivers other than a studied inability to keep to one lane rather than constantly shifting between lanes. This behavior, however, has been attributed to the presence of trucks and the fear of death that such instill in otherwise sane individuals. It also seems to have some association with a general fear of losing one’s employment if one arrives after one’s boss at work.

This fear has not been strongly associated with driving trucks but rather with a general belief that Alibamians are fundamentally incompetent, illiterate, and ignorant. This belief is upheld by the life choices of many Alibamians, especially in political elections. 

Another bemusing aspect of those who drive trucks is that the trucks are almost never used to haul anything since that would “dirty” the truck and decrease its representation of the virility of the driver. 

Alabama Education

For heaven’s sake , let us sit upon the ground. And tell sad stories of the death of kings

I find it somewhat bemusing that the Alibam Council of Thieves aka the Alibam Legislature has taken up the matter of the “Common Core.” Here I thought all they had time to spend on was restricting the free will of women.

Evidently the complaint is that Alibam children are not being taught well (or are not learning well, which is the mirror image,) and the way to fix this is to disconnect from the standards and testing of such.

I have to admit that I don’t know enough about the discipline to have a knowledgeable opinion but I do know that when I was a child in primary schule, I had no problem with reading. But there were lots of kids who did. Which may or may not have anything to do with the teacher. Some kids are just stupid. 

And, yes, I know that attitude is anathema in modern society. But I have lived in Alibam much of my life and I can tell you that everyone in the state has some degree of stupid and some are consumed with it. 

Getting back to the council of thieves, it seems that the legislation is stalled in the lower house because some legislators are concerned that the instrumentality of the “Common Core” is useful. 

This is the part that is bemusing.

We have a debate in the Council of Thieves over whether hiding the stupidity of Alibam children or the schule bureaucracy is more important. 

Since the former is common knowledge, at least among the lesser stupid of Alibam’s citizens and the bureaucracy  of the schules is well known to be of greatest importance in the schule system (actual learning isn’t on the list so far as I can determine,) all I can do is hope I don’t bruise my ribs too badly rolling on the floor, laughing.

And the Thieves of the Council wonder why we are almost always dead last?

Fair Rent

This morning I ran across a PEW article [Link] entitled “Growing Partisan Divide Over Fairness of the Nation’s Tax System.” As indicated there seems to be some major disconnect between Repulsians and Democruds over how taxes should be.

Before proceeding, let me state that taxes are the rent you pay for being a citizen and living where you do. Eviction will consist of some form of punishment whether it be incarceration or loss of property. 

But what I was intrigued by was the question of “fairness.” So I started with my dictionary: the definition of fairness was useless, being the state of being fair; fair itself was more productive:

Fair    1. Free from spots, specks, dirt, or imperfection; unblemished; clean; pure.   [1913 Webster]

This clearly implies that fair is subjective but implies uniformity. So let’s consider some “fair” tax schemes:

  1. Everyone pays the same amount; anyone who can’t pay that amount is punished;
  2. Everyone pays the same fraction of total money change over some interval
  3. Everyone is allowed the same amount of money change per year: rich people have the difference confiscated; poor people are donated the difference from the confiscation (less the government’s keepage;) or
  4. Everyone’s money change per year is confiscated and a uniform amount is donated back by the government.

I could come up with some others but this seems enough to pretty well span the space. That is, this list probably manages to offend everyone, which the Kingston Trio considered useful. 

The problem is that we aren’t communicating. There is a lot of talk, but little listening and less concern for the good of the nation.