Apple Politics

Yesterday as I was motoring back from NAwth Alibam’s Shining City on the Hill, listening to their Public Wireless station – because, well, it isn’t either superstition and mysticism or junk music – and they mentioned, as a category, Republicans who use iPhones.

This provoked some cogitation. In fact, I quit listening to their blather to think. It was a mixed bag; happily the rain was a sprinkle and the density of stupitists (stupid & motorists) was quite low, being midmorning going Sowth on US231. 

I first reflected on the combination of iPhone and MAGA. This seemed so incongrous as to be orthogonal. Somehow I pictured MAGAites purchasing some no-contract unknown-brand phone at MalWart. 

So I next reflected on the Republicans that I knew who had iPhones. A pattern emerged: suit wearers; college degrees; people who dismissed Faux News as propaganda. IOW, people who knew what conservative means other than a catch phrase. People who are actually Republican not because they have any affection for the party but because it is less evil to them than the other. 

People who stay married. Or never marry. And know more than 600 words. And can, mostly, write in cursive. 

But almost all are not STEMs. And the ones who are don’t want to waste smart time on what should be an appliance.

People somewhat akin to the Founding Fathers. Except not particularly wealthy. Nor clad in clothes more appropriate to the privacy of one’s house while mucking out the potty. In public. Or on an airplane.

With tolerance and a sense of humor. And self-discipline.

IOW, not the 90% of Republicans who validate Sturgeon’s Rule.

So maybe they are the ones we should let breed?

Memories of Times Past

This morning, while belatedly perusing the FaceScroll, I ran across some pictures posted by the Yankee Army Woe College of their entering students gathering and signing for their textbooks. (It is, after all, an Army schule.)

I have to admit that this was a fond reminder of one of the most amusing situation at the Woe College, watching a plethora (class) of Field Grades having to practice their newly directed politeness skills (????) to the library clerks. Needless to say this requirement sat poorly on the shoulders of many of these officers. 

The other most amusing situation was any time one was in seminar and cited an equation to make a point. Even though almost all of the students had to pass calculus in college, almost none have used any of it since that time and so maths are as alien to Woe College students as “change is to military monks.” (They can identify the source of that quote.)

Godspeed oh Sec of State

I see and hear that the former senator (religionist fanatic branch) of Alibam has initiated a new campaign against everyone who isn’t an evilgelical.

I just hope they realize it’s the opening move in a game designed to be against everyone who isn’t him. 

Isn’t it amazing how Amerikan political parties are evolving into gangs?

Summer Joys

This seems to have been a good week for Proper Disrespect. I opene Lifehacker this morning for a bit of trolling (in the piscine meaning,) and found several encouraging bits of news:

First, we have a couple of intriguing titles about the PLOTUS: [Link] “Trump Gets Booed As He Plays Golf in Scotland” and [Link] “Trump Lies So Much That Journalists Now Measure Things Like ‘Dishonesty Density’.” I have confidence these are, or will be labeled, false liberal Snowflake News but they are, none the less, refreshing. As a matter of fact, they give me greater understanding of many things I have read in ancient Greek about the joys of tyrants and why they were so popular.

Second, I see that that Cohan fellow – not the one who can dance, sing, and pretend to be a gangster – has had encouraging dealings with the chief bigot of Alibam: [Link] “Sacha Baron Cohen Probably Punked Roy Moore, so Now I Will Watch His New Show.” I have commented on this evil cancer of Alibam several times before but this one is truly amazing. The fellow actually though someone not Southron Evilgelical, the National Firearm Association, or the KKK would give him an award. OK, maybe the Amerikan Nazi Party? But this does indicate the brilliance of the fellow. Whose primary niceness is that he ain’t POTUS. 

Third, and in some ways, most enjoyable, [Link] “Tribal Chairman Sends Ominous 4-Word Letter to Keystone XL Pipeline Developer.” I am not aganst progress but I am against false Capitalist progress that makes our lives worse and damages the ecosystem. Wait, the use of Capitalist there was redundant. So I apologize to the planet wreckers. I am not even going to go into my usual nitnoid about “Native Peoples”. But I will acknowledge that this particular speaker for First Peoples has my admiration for standing up. Shame this guy doesn’t occupy 1600 Pennsylvania. After all, it’s empty courtesy of a relaxing golfing expedition to Russia. 

Enough. Time to go break some eggs. 

Which type of Stercus be YOU?

Ran across an article [Link] entitled “Study: If you favor Jif peanut butter over Skippy, you’re probably a conservative” this morning. The article is a plagiarism from a Washington Times article which is a plagiarism of a U Chicago study report. 

It talks about the observables that are used to predict if someone is of a particular political (or some other state such as “Race”) disposition. I’m assuming this is related to some of the algorithms used by FaceScroll and Amazing to tailor content/advertisements. I have commented previously how flaky and inaccurate those algorithms are: offer me five pairs of shoes at a time, none of which are available or made in my size. IOW, fundamental negation.

The title caught my attention span because I consume neither Jif nor Skippy, and never had. I forget what my parents fed me – between vanilla wafers – as a child but when I got to graduate schule I began eating IGA peanut butter because it came in a five gallon bucket (among other, smaller sizes) and living on a TA salary ate a peanut butter sandwich (on week old bread from a day-old store) every day. I still eat IGA peanut butter even though I have to drive an hour each way to the nearest IGA store. Which is in the opposite direction from Nawth Alibam’s shining city on the hill. 

So what does this do to the prediction? Am I a fascist or an anarchist since I am clearly neither a conservative nor a liberal? And does this have any relationship to the reality of the situation?

If I drill down to the next level, I find an enlightening graphic:

Note that all of these percentages are between 0.5 and 0.6, which is close to being a draw. IOW, assuming this is a two state observable, then a person who owns a fishing rod has a probability of 0.43 of being a conservative. Seems an awfully poor predictor to me. WHich probably explains why these predictions are such a pile of Stercus.

I especially like the one that a person who owns a POV is 0.57 likely to be a liberal. This when there are more POV in the Yankee republic than there are adults in the same bin. 

I should comment that I don;t use frozen bread dough – I make my own – but I do freeze bread. I do use disposable plates – very unsustainment! And I don’t eat at Applebee’s because I hate their food and I don’t but Dockers pants because I buy everything but suits and ties on-line. But I have owned several Chevrolets and if they would bring back the Corvair – hurrah! for Ralph Nader! – I would buy one in an instant.

The best thing I can say about this is – CONFIRMATION that these analyses are largely diarrheatic cow crap.

Food Foolery

When I was motoring down the mountain to Nawth Alibam’s Shining City on the Hill, I heard on the wireless that the old Confeederacy was the thickest part of the country for fast food fooleries. 

This was not surprising and even though the announcement came from NPR which is well known to be a front for the current administration’s prevarications, a source was cited that permitted a modicum of validation.

This led me to a bit of cogitation. The density of McGarbage in the Sowth seems to fit. After all, Southron cooking is traditionally poor to inexecreable – literally. Although on occasion explosively or nauseatingly execrable. 

This stems from the traditional life style. Cooking practices were low heat for long periods, mostly because of the shoddy or nonexistent dentistry in the Sowth. This carried over after gas and electrons could be used for cooking. My mother normally prepared beans by low boil for twenty-four hours. Needless to say they had neither integrity nor taste after that treatment. 

I have often wondered how much of this cooking style was due to the propaganda against unionization to alleviate the serfdom of almost everyone in the Sowth or the propaganda of contradictory religion bent on preserving the lifestyle of divines. The Sowth is an oligarchy in multiple dimensions, mostly because of the asentience and aintelligence of its people. 

Anyway, the insipidity and poisonousness of the fast food places – I deign to dignify them as restaurants – is apparently in full keeping with Southron culinary vapidity. To say nothing for the deep satisfaction of projectile regurgitation or projectile diarrhea – and perhaps both. Nothing is quite so digestively satisfying to crimson napes as a deep fried “hamburger” made of a mixture of rancid bovinity and tender annelids. 

This alimentary cess pool mentality also seems to carry over into other aspects of Southron kulture and sokiety. I noted recently that the current audio-visual advertisements for the candidates for state Leftenant Guvnuh accuse the other of having the faults and sins of the accuser. Ah, what a shining example of democracy in action. And generally consumed like those “hamburgers” by the general populace of Alibam. 

There is a down side to both of these: lack of choice. No one is permitted to stand for office – seriously – who is not sanctified by the holy see of the state parteis. And because of their proliferation, the fast food places have destroyed real fooderies in most part of the Sowth. So one is confronted with only sorry choices. On both azimuths of nurtition and good governance. 

Of course if one is addicted to the anti-eucarist of daily regurgitation, then the Sowth is indeed a new Eden. Complete with reptiles in both the legislature and the intestines.