Alabama Election Insights 3

Earlier this week, I ran across this statement:

Georgia Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle privately complained to one of his GOP primary opponents that their race for governor had become about “who had the biggest gun, who had the biggest truck and who could be the craziest.”

and several things struck me.

The most obvious, and perhaps worst, was that the construction “biggest gun” might be interpreted in a connotational rather than a denotational sense. That is, when the noun “gun” is used as a substitution slang for a male human organ.

The more I cogitated on this quote, the more I entertained it as also applying to the political election propaganda here in Alibam. Certainly the male candidates are engaging in a length-or-organ competition. They are all claiming that their opponents not only have diminutive organs but that they are riddled with pustulent venereal diseases that they contracted in the womb. 

Of course, based on the symmetry of the claims, it can readily be inferred that all the male candidates are so afflicted.

What is intriguing is that the women candidates seem relatively immune to this preening. Except for the few who have men opponents. These competitions make for some graphical considerations that makes one wonder about GMO among politicians. 

What is not intriguing is that the competition is indeed shaping up to be a case of which candidate is the greater “crazy”? Of course, the election is still prior to the party run-offs and so thus far the only mind slime displayed has been purely partisan. There is still hope for some independent or third party candidate who is actually sane. 

But not much. 

Along that line, some other thoughts have surfaced:

Q: How many campaigns does it take for a candidate to become a “career politician”?

A: One

Q: What are these candidates trying to conserve?

A: we don’t know but it has been suggested that since the CERN LHC has been able to find the Higgs Boson, perhaps they can be funded to find out what Alibam (Amerikan) politicians are conserving.

Q: All of these candidates claim to be Christians? 

A: ????????????????????????????????????????????

I shall leave the truck aspect a sleeping bandersnatch.