Ode to Public Service

Sometimes I am so whelmed with joy and thankfulness for our public (?) organizations that I just have to dance and sing.

In a burst of their usual kindness, the Alibam Department of Transportation, which, so far as I can tell, transports nothing, an epitome of capitalist government instrumentality, has also stymied all transportation on Alabama Highway 68 from Scant City to downtown Arab. They have accomplished this with a mixture of technology ranging from orange plastic road barriers to the latest road destruction machinery.

Meanwhile, the Arab Electron Uncooperative, perhaps a tiny bit jealous of the Arab Water Unpumpers who have readopted their program of ruining children’s dentition, have been executing a truly thrilling program of powers flickers clearly designed to improve commerce in Greater Metropolitan Arab by systematically eliminating HVAC units, heavy appliances, and digital computers in Arab households. 

These two programs, along with the wise governance of our local conscript parents, most of whom are real-estate salespeople, has resulted in Greater Metropolitan Arab being named the second best city in Amerika for making its citizens’ lives miserable. They were edged out for first place by the city of Flint Michigan which has a wonderful program intended to totally depopulate the city. 

I firmly expect the Arab Conscript Parents to rise to the challenge and considerably reduce the city’s population by next year’s evaluation.