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I thought I had hammered the coffin lid a bit yesterday but this morning I find it still needs a bit of bashing.

I have a browser tab of site addresses I try to visit every day. Periodically I add a site; spasmodically I delete a site, usually when their stupidity becomes too noxious. One such on the cusp is the “Huffington Post” which combines mediocre journalism with rectal cerebration. 

The main reason I go there is that some of their articles give me some insight into the nature of contemporary bogs. Usually I spend less than a minute on the site because such nuggets are as rare as platinum nuggets in the septic creek behind the outhouse. 

But this morning I ran across an article [Link] entitled “Spring Deals: Lowest Prices On TurboTax, Bowflex Power Rod Gym And Samsung’s 8-Series Quantum Dot TVs.” Note that this is an imaginary article. It is really an advertisement. Which leads us to our tirade.

This is a type of advertisement that exceeds the at-least-one-prevarication standard. In this instance several-fold. FIrst of all, the journalist and the site editor claim this is an article. Prevarication Number ONE.

Next it offers to sell – at substantially reduced price (Prevarication Number TWO) – things that I really want to buy because I need them either physically or socially or emotionally. SO what are these things?

  • An income tax client. Why should I want one of these? First of all these income tax clients are for Bogs who are too mentally deprived to know that (1) you can get better, cheaper done on line, often free, and (2) that if you’ve got to use such a client you really need to hire someone who knows what he/she is doing to do your taxes. I could also say something about this client isn’t available for Linux, mostly because Linux folks have good sense not to fool with such Stercus, but I shan’t.
  • A home “gym”. Another trap for Bogs. First of all it’s neither a gym nor a particularly useful workout device. You get better using your feet on and off the ground. But that’s not the point. Things like this sell to people who don’t exercise and buy this to balm their guilt. The manufacturers of such know that and make them so that they fall apart in a year or so of sitting about coated with dust. Most either never make it out of the box (unassembled) or get banished to the nastiest corner of the garage because HVAC floor space is to valuable for something unused except as a mind flush.
  • Samsung Quantum Dot TV. This is the most astounding and laughable of the three. First of all, it’s made by a company that has made cellular IED a watchword. I understand they received an award from Homeland Security for improving job security. Next, it’s a “Quantum Dot.” This is a masterpiece (?) of advertising. All dots are quantum. Heck, SCP is quantum. We are all quantum. Even dark energy. Whatever it is. And a TV? This has to be another Bog attractant. Who needs a new TV? Lots of people but rarely. I have a couple of TVs and both are over five years old. Don’t use them that much. And the GEN Ys aren’t using TVs. Well, maybe the porn bogs who do a lot of sports porn. Which sort of fits with the “home gym” thing. People who get their endocrine systems churning over athletic stuff that they don’t do but watch. That’s what makes it porn. 

There’s more stuff buried in the advertisement masquerading as an article but the point is made. A Congress of Lies. And that metaphor has nothing to do with the national council of the inept, unhonest, and uncompetent. A collection of salamanders is called a congress. And that’s what advertising is all about: the dinosaur brain that we all inherited from our lizard forebears. 

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