Sweet Alibam

I get asked, mostly by folks who don’t live in Alibam, why I live here. Previously, I have detailed why FD SCP and I reside in Greater Metropolitan Arab, but I have never dealt with why Alibam?

This started to percolate yesterday when I ran across an article [Link] entitled – rather well, I should offer – "Why Do Brits Say "Maths" and Americans Say "Math"?" The article deteriorates rather rapidly after the title and never really fulfills its titular promise. But it did bring me to consider the residency question.

Of course, I was gestated, delivered, and matured here. I started college here mostly because of being paid to do so but I left the state for graduate schule and quickly came back and stayed. Why?

Obviously, FD SCP grew up in Missississississippi and Alibam is a minuscule improvement – in some ways – from M….. But that’s another story except that FD SCP wants to stay here so that’s one of the reasons I do.

You also have to understand that Greater Metropolitan Arab is in Nawth Alibam which is the STEM part of the state and is thereby considerably more rational than the rest of Alibam although no where near as rational as really rational places. But compared to the Rest Of Alibam (ROA) it is wonderful.

I have commented previously that people in America are pretty much math averse. In fact, math hating. They tell their kids that they’ll never use algebra after high schule and so the kids never learn it. That’s why Amerikans say "math"and the British (and knowledgeable, calculate Americans) say "maths". We know there is a lot more than arithmetic and algebra.

This means that almost all Amerikans are acalculate, and never more than marginally computate, rather at the level of being able to access YouTube and FaceScroll. That’s why cybercrime is rampant in Amerika.

This is rather worse in Alibam although it isn’t obvious from the state level statistics. That’s because you have lots of calculate, computate folks in Nawth Alibam, working in Huntsville but living all over Nawth Alibam including Greater Metropolitan Arab.. So the rest of the state population has to be especially acalculate and acomputate to drag the average down.

That means that there are lots of dullards here in Alibam. Most of them are nice people except for the usual suspects – politicians, other criminals, local government, and some of the constabulary. But you can be almost certain that any clerk in any chain business will be inept if not incompetent. Most of the small family businesses are eptly run but go to WalMart and you’re on your own.

One of my colleagues claims Alibam is the model for some television program about zombies that I have never seen, nor care to. Sometimes reality overwhelms art, and television has never been very good art. And has steadily deteriorated since it was invented. Evidently resolution and content quality are multiplicatively constant on television.

But that’s one of the reasons I stay in Alibam. Most of the people I have to deal with in the community are direct, if not actually honest, and not mentally challenging. That is important to an Intro Nerd. Simplicity – better, absence – of social interaction is a plus. And it gives us less distraction from thinking about things that are actually important. Like nerd stuff. Physics. Maths.

Now you do have to put up with a lot of nastiness. The government tortures and bullies its citizens. There are lots of addiction mongers – drugs and religion. But those exist even in really rational places, if to lesser degrees but greater presence. Besides, they give us something to relieve our stress with by complaining.

Selah.

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