Stepping In Something, Again

Yesterday was also the occasion of a football game that epitomizes the rivalry in the state of Alibam and serves as a demonstration of just how thin civilization can be. Since my father attended Alibam Polytechnic Institut and I attended the campus of the Black Warrior, a notorious party shul as I was reminded by my son-in-law Thursday, I was ambivalent on the matter other than pangs of not being able to consume an Italian ham sandwich. This, of course, has nothing to do with the apparently asentient competitiveness so when I observed this cartoon, [Link]

I was captivated by the commonality and the analysis. The comparison with war is, I suspect, a bit overblown in that while the basis of a football game, or any game for that matter, is over policy engendered by people agreeing to play, it is patently an extreme act of artificiality even for human society, recognizing that even that is, in a way, an artificiality. In the sense that sedentaryness and thence civilization lead directly to excessive reproduction, the penalty of biological sensualism, and overpopulation, war may be considered natural. It is not at all clear this may be extended to football although there may be a connection between excessive reproduction and the aintelligence of fanatics.

And given that the vast majority of people who slavishly attended to rituals such as yesterday’s, I have to entertain the concept, tenable only to democrat social engineers, that

“only students, alumni, and faculty of a college be permitted to view the athletic events of that college.”

I know this would increase the education level of the group so engaged although I am unsure of whether it would be due to culling of those unable to learn or increasing the enrollment and matriculation rolls of the college. I should hope the latter.

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Holiday Horror

I am behind on my usual time wasting this week. Not that I have not been wasting time, more than usual with all the familial convocations and boredom fests, but as a result of that I have not been doing my usual time wasting on the greatest lie to come out of the Volunteer state.

One of the things I had to put up with was a political harangue on the part of the high sheriff of Marshall County. This had to do with some program for acomputate seniors to identify themselves in case of automobile accident. I have to admit to having been unable to suspend my disbelief enough to get in the spirit of the fiction, being hung up on computing the fraction of seniors who are acomputate and drive motorcars. Not that there is not a sizable fraction of either, but the union is small and dwindling, and it is this union that is the political target of the Sheriff of Marshall.

I should say, that and the concoction of controlled substances – well, sorta – in his shire. For those who are unaware, Marshall county is the national nexus for the production of crystallized methyl-amphetamine in Amerika. And this is legally controlled even though one cannot build a weapon of mass destruction with the stuff. In fact, it is horribly destructive but only of the people who consume it, which tends to put it into the category of ‘Evolution In Action.’

Several years ago I did a study of the effects of consciousness altering drugs and came to the conclusion that so long as they acted quickly to discorporate their users, they were actually beneficial to the species. But they had to act quickly and it was best if the use began prior to reproduction since the benefit was to remove rubbish from the gene pool. Happily, adolescence is the most common initiation of such chemical usage and often extends beyond only because discorporation does not occur rapidly enough.

Notice that since the ‘solution’ in the shire of Marshall is political – eradicating the overt behaviors – rather than eliminating the faults, it lacks closure and hence is a permanent path to political success.

In the process of considering this I recalled a website [Link] of a humorous nature parodying Ikea instruction sheets – I was interested in the one for a hadron collider – but this one

seems somehow suited for the situation in the shire?

I could also offer that in the process of reflection on all this my stomach gurgled and I had occasion to ruminate on overeating -> obesity and this, of course, led me back to consideration of the sheriff.

Nonetheless, one of the obvious things here – only really stupid bogs use chemicals improperly, like by ingesting them without the guidance of medicalists. And I will defer comment on that for a later day.

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Turkey Porn 2

Turkey Day is past, and survived! FD SCP and I were descended upon by SCPdatter and consort, and so we once more had the joy of the pitter patter of (mental) children about the house. This, of course, gave FD SCP and I one more thing to be thankful for.

The turkey breast, pictured in a previous blot, emerged excellent from oven, largely due to the ministration of FD SCP. Sadly it did not brown well and as a result I was forbidden by SCP to photograph the undressed bird. I can report that I have never had a bird dress so cleanly and with such little effort. The most strenuous and trying components were adjusting to a new electric ‘slicing’ knife and getting the skin grease off my hands. This photo

presents a goodly portion of the remains that will subsequently be combined with good Pain Ordinaire and Miracle Whip (R) to construct the pinnacle of thanksgiving cuisine – the turkey sandwich. I can say, on this occasion, and in a qualified, small way, that I am thankful for the English for inventing the sandwich. I feel sure, that if that English libertine and wastrel had not, some wholesome, upstanding American, undoubtedly a Jeffersonian republican, would have invented it independentaly – and better!

I perhaps should apologize a bit for the photograph since it is a bit indistinct and unclear. I seem to recall from my undergraduate days, when I had time for such, that porn photographs are supposed to have these qualities. Besides, I should not want to greatly disappoint all those folks out there searching Gooey for ‘turkey porn’ that will end up here. They do, after all, deserve a photograph of naked flesh.

I have just returned from my aft yard where I dispersed seed for the squirrels and dinosaur descendants. We have had and are having some rain, a a goodly crowd of fungi have sprouted in the area where I spread the seeds, no doubt growing off the stripped hulls. I must consult the fungus index to see if these are edible.

Sadly the agony of the holy day is not yet retired. We have to hie off to break fast with the rest of local family and suffer the joint benefits of banal conversation (attempts) and the righteously drained service of overindulgent waitresses (not genderist, this is the rural Sowth, after all.)  Then we may wave a fond (avid?) adieu to this and prepare ourselves for the galactic collision magnitude jointness of Winter Solstice/Newtonmas/Chanukah/Quanza/…..

But that is a month away, and in imitation of the bogs, I shall enjoy the respite while I can. Happily much of my shopping is, I think, already completed and I have only that deepest of love-hate experiences, the wrapping of presents, to complete. Along with arraying the domicile with photon emitters and doing holy day baking and ……..

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Things I am Thankful for – 2010 – alpha

  1. FD SCP
  2. SCPdatter
  3. My friends, the few I have, who also have strong stomachs
  4. Raisin inserted chocolate – only way the chocolate is palatable
  5. Physics
  6. Maths
  7. Books
  8. Fountain Pens and Notebooks with good paper
  9. Linux, and software that works the way it should
  10. The absence of children

(not in magnitude order, obviously, just search order)

Film at Eleven

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Thing I am Unthankful For – 2010 – alpha

  1. Security companies who are pre-convinced they are going to be too busy to not call the constabulary without consulting the client.
  2. Most of the other motorists out there, especially this holiday season. Seems they substituted turkey hash for gray matter in their skulls.
  3. Aging and deteriorating slowly – not sure whether the slowly is the unthankful thing or just deteriorating.
  4. Politicians – ’nuff said.
  5. MalWart and MegaHard, maybe Otelco and the cable company.
  6. Having to waste too much attention span trying to find something on television other than banal, vapid, holiday movies that are only possible because of the demise of celluloid epic palaces. No one in their right mind would pay for these things, especially to watch, except inept network executives panicking to fill air time.
  7. Global Warming, even if all those folks think its a conspiracy. Wait, are they the same ones with turkey leftovers for brains?

Film at Eleven

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Pilgrim’s Revenge

OK, have things calmed down? Or was last night the interlude between acts? Yesterday was a bit of a Chinese panic drill. First I drove into Nawth Alibam’s Shining City on the Hill for foodstuffs. Traffic was light even in town what with shul dismissed and folks preparing for the holy day. Unfortunately the ones who had gotten off the streets were the ones with good sense and/or good driving skills. It was a cross between Klown Kars and bumper car competition. I can recall stressing to get to the office by a certain time but this was definitely ExLax territory.

Happily my usual staff call had been called on account of holiness, or some such so I was back on the orad to Greater Metropolitan Arab earlier than usual. And while the food stores were crowded they had not yet reached the frenzy that would duplicate the mess outside inside the stores with picking carts.

Then I returned home to discover FD SCP was cleaning. Not just pushing the suck broom as she usually does but stacking up, throwing away, and dusting. My sinuses are still burning! Anyway I tried to pussy foot about, and assist incisively while constructing and baking holiday breads.

When I had left we were sans internet, courtesy of Otelco providing us with a defective modem. That makes two in the month of November. Makes me wonder if American civilization is going to crumble under the capitalist apathy of corporate incompetence. Gad, you would think a phone company could at least pick hardware that will last? Sadly, they are almost the only game in town so it matters little if they are crooked or just terminally inept. Maybe we should rename the town Mayberry?

FD SCP had chatted up the help desk – she does this much better than I because I get fed up with their structured pretense that they know everything and I am pond scum in about thirty seconds – on a good day, which dealing with Otelco help desk never is – and motored down to the town office to get a new modem since they played the come get it or we’ll ignore you until next week. Geez, you would think they were unionized from their attitude towards deferring work and denying service? Anyway, she called the help desk back, swapped the modem, and did all the connection things they directed – MegaHard has really run modern thinking through a blender when the fix for everything is turn it off, count to thirty, and turn it back on; and kids don’t understand when something physical is wrong or people die, some adults too – and things did come back on. Now we go into waiting mode to see how many days this modem lasts.

Anyway, that meant I had to keep an eye on FD SCP because she tends to get a bit intense when people are coming – it’s part of being introvert – and needs occasional distraction to reinforce the breathing cycle. And the bread came out sorta OK. I may have burned it a bit since the bread machine has proven itself slowly decomposing and I had opted to go the oven route and ran into that forgotten trade-off between getting it cooked all the way and the outside charring. Good for meat, not so for holiday breads. But since I don’t eat them myself that’s someone else’s decision.

Anyway, already had to dash over to SCPmutter’s because the security alarm people are trigger happy this morning and dispatched the constabulary to her house without asking me first. So now I also have a distraught parent to contend with who is convinced she needs to be shut away in Bedlam, or worse, an assisted living facility.

On which note, I wish you, and myself, a happy thanksgiving. Maybe you’ll get yours.