Capitalist Jungle Safari

I had occasion yesterday, after my medicalist engagement, to accompany FD SCP on an expedition to a Sam’s Club. We do not have such in Greater Metropolitan Arab, nor even in Marshall County. There are two, perhaps three, in Nawth Alibam’s Shining City on the Hill.

The first thing that struck me was how much nicer the staff was to couples than to unaccompanied men. Usually I visit the SC on my own and it is rather like wandering through an ice cube tray, if one can imaging one large enough. (I hope that metaphor is not too exotic and reactionary for any passing GEN Y.) Since I normally visit as a solitary man, my ambulations are very hunter in nature. I go to where the things on my list are with no rubber necking – alright, very little. With FD SCP present, we ambulated in gatherer nature and so I was exposed to an order of magnitude more information than normal.

This led me first to contemplate the differences between SC and MalWart. Volume is the most obvious. In MalWart the most common thing is the individual item/container, although admittedly that is a sometimes ambiguous taxonomic state. In Club S the most common thing is, barely modal, a container of containers. I was reminded of the ditty about the chap at the fish cannery on cannery row, about not being able to can a can. It’s an alliterative nonsense for those unfamiliar.

This led me to compare the MalWart with the department stores of the Communist countries during Containment. The commonalities were astounding. Somehow they can operate at opposite ends of the spectrum – blatant, overt capitalism and worker paradise socialism – and end up almost the same. Both are stocked with lots of a few things. The differences arose in the absences rather than the presences. In MalWart you can usually get what you want so long as what you want is desired enough by other customers. If you deviate too much from the mode of the distribution, then what you want will not be available because it will not sell fast enough to satisfy capitalist demands. In a People’s Cornucopia you can get what you want so long as it is on the list of things to be manufactured and the manager of the factory had enough made that month.

I hope that difference is clear.

Anyway, upon arriving home I spent about as long unloading and stowing goods as we spent buying them, mostly because I had to make several trips to and from the motorcar. Somehow that seems punishment for the effort?

corporations, humans, behavior, commerce, greed

Meaning of Life

Why is it that Ugg Boots have so much blog spam? I can understand penile medications, but how can fuzzy footwear be so depraved?

humans, commerce, stupidity

Homo Shoppingensis

Oh what a beautiful day! So far things have been less than positive. First, the weather beavers were over-optimistic, missing the morning low by several degF below the phase change of dihydrogen oxide. Hence I had to not only unplug the block heater – an invention that needs to be enshrined with the flush toilet and dental floss – but I had to manually scrape enough ice off to stave off the constabulary. And then I had to turn about and return to get my MP3 player. And then the podcast, an episode of the Ubuntu podcast was grits.

Speaking of which, I ran across a National Geographic article [Link] yesterday entitled “Sex With Humans Made Neanderthals Extinct?” While this is light years better than their program Redstone Hillbilly Engineers, I was a bit startled at the abruptness of the wording. Not displeased, mind you, just surprised that a magazine would be so forthcoming. Even one noted as paving the way for Playboy and Penthouse.

The article, which is rather dated as such go, is about the mapping of  Neandertal DNA and the emergent hypothesis that neandertals disappear by being merged into contemporary sapiens. Comforting, at least to the non-religionists, that the concerns about cannibalism have been replaced with the acceptability of miscegenation. For the religionists, however, it brings a new worry to the aspect of the chosen of god.

This however, is not my chief consideration this icy morning, but rather a comment made by a colleague Normal Angular Momentum about ‘going shopping with her husband being like hunting with a game warden.’  I was rather unsure of what this meant since I have been out in field with game wardens and I found their presence to be beneficial.

Based on her response, which was more about chaperones at teen parties type of situation comedy, which of course has a basis in ‘real’ life or it would not be humor, I came to the hypothesis that she and her husband were displaying human behavior.

Sapiens has been around for a fairly good period of time, the current estimate – this is science and not bishopry here – is about 200 KY. [Link] For most of that period, until the end of the last cold phase and partly into the period following, say something on order 10 KY, or 0.05 of the total, we were hunter-gatherers. As is often the case in human social organizations, function was divided along gender lines with males predominating as the hunters and females predominating as the gatherers.

The relevant behavior here, in summary, is that hunters hunt until they find the minimally acceptable game that they can kill while gatherers have to survey all of the available vegetation and select the most suitable. This behavior, which has been ingrained into humans over 0.95 of their existence, and is still with us, carries over into the shopping activity.

If a man goes out to purchase (e.g.,) a suit, he looks at and tries on suits until he finds one that is minimally acceptable to his requirements and purchases it. If a woman goes out to purchase a suit, she looks at and tries on all the suits that she can find and then selects the best one to purchase. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with either approach although both have strengths and weaknesses. The difficulty is that are different and the can cause the adherents of each approach to clash.

The best way to avoid this clash is that developed by our ancestors. Make a list of the items to be shopped for, divide the list into things that may be minimally acceptable and those that have to be optimal and separate the shopping accordingly.

That way you can prepare for Newtonmas-Solstice with a minimum of stress and conflict.

Sterile Delivery

Lovely day yesterday – much downfall of dihydrogen oxide droplets – with more of the same and decreased temperatures foretold by the weather beavers for today. Under these conditions it seems meet that some weighty topic needs be dealt with in a frivolous manner.

I noted [Link] this week a PEW poll on the so-called ‘tablet revolution’, a term that smacks of contemporary history denial and branding egoism. The tablet is not much more than a (small) step in the on-going electronics revolution that began with the development of quantum mechanics and was instantiated by Marconi. Of course this consideration quickly reduces modern bogs to somnolent boredom and they do not spend money when they are asleep, perhaps the only time they don’t unless they are unemployed and out looking for a donation. The shape of modern society is the pseudo-poor who have funds to survive but not to enjoy (?) the lifestyle they covet. Self-control and will power are as alien to modern bogs, and many geeks and nerds, as polio.

Thus, in a modern world where budgeting and investment are the slaves of "oooh! shiny!" losing the (admittedly brief and shallow) attention span of the Amerikan plebe is directly loss of revenue. And thus any attempt to communicate, however misguided and ill posed, must be titillating and inaccurate.

Departing that for the moment, I was taken by a statement in the PEW blurb,

"Eleven percent of adults now own a tablet computer. About half get news on it everyday, and three in ten spend more time consuming news than they did before. But contrary to what some in the news industry hoped, a majority say they are not willing to pay for news content on the devices, according to the most detailed study to date of tablet users and their news consumption habits."

What is gathering is not the 0.11 of the population who own a tablet, a statement mostly of the effectiveness of Apple’s mind subjugation with its overpriced but flashy/shiny toys, but the statement that a majority will not pay for news.

The ambiguity of the statement, indicative of either poor composition skills or the modern Barnumism, if not both, needs be dealt first. It is unclear whether the majority refers to the 0.11 who possess a tablet of the approximately 0.055 who obtains ‘news’ on it. As we have learned in freshman physics, those factors of two are pesky but sometimes critical. Especially, in that context, for gravity. [1]

Regardless, in terms of a comparison with the television advertising market, either figure is in the order-of-magnitude range, and the comparison would seem potentially apt given that the tablet is mostly used for entertainment rather than constructive work. Conspicuously, the majority of modern Amerikans pay for cable but unless they ante up for premium channels offering athletic violence or simulated gratuitous reproductive activity, that payment is not generally associated with any particular content. Hence, ‘news’ programming on television is not generally regarded as something one pays for. Certainly the majority, who have either grown up with cable, and whose absence is a large fraction of the constitution of pseudo-poverty, or actual broadcast television, consider both local and network news programs as quid pro quo freebies offering information in exchange for carry-over attention span for commercials.

The point is that while Amerikans may have been willing to perceive and pay for printed news, they are generally unwilling to pay for audio-visual news. And the fraction who are willing to pay for printed news is decreasing daily. Indeed, as commented previously, the means for newspapers to continue to survive is by offering news not provided by local and network news programming, notably local gossip and trivia. So the intriguing aspect of the PEW statement is the hint of amazement that humans will not spend money on news content but will spend it on games and other apps or services. But not for news – news on television is sans price, and apparently, also on the tablet.

[1] OK, it is Friday, and while that’s not a pun it is a groaner.

The Hammer Returns

Warmer this morning, and didn’t have to look forward to rushing off to Nawth Alibam’s Shining City on the Hill to contend with the driving asanity and purchasing foodstuffs in and around a staff call. Also, obtaining an influenza inoculation.

The latter was a bit entertaining. Last year I got my influenza inoculation at a grocery store and it took all of five minutes. This time I went to a different grocery store and it took about fifteen minutes. Astounding variance in response times! This will bear more investigation since the whole influenza inoculation thing has migrated from the province of medicalists to retail establishments, including MalWart, and so has become less of a pilgrimage, ala Chaucer, and more of the equivalent of Jiffy Lube or some other rapid lubrication exchange business. I should also note that the change in competence level is commiserate with that migration. Back when I got inoculations at a physician’s office or a health department campsite I was assured of a reasonable level of competency in the administration of the injection. Now one is happy if one’s bruising and soreness abate in a week. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I got the inoculation in Huntsville rather than here in Greater Metropolitan Arab where last year it took me a month to recover from the by blows of the injection. Where do these people get trained, at the local motorcar body shop trade shul?

Anyway, I learned this morning at gym – blissfully sparse in population – that Steve Jobs has discorporated. I shall miss him, he was quite Freudian, one of those people you alternated, often rapidly, between liking and disliking. Such people are rare. Usually one develops an intense and growing dislike for corporate techies that is alleviated with humor only when they physically or technically or informationally fall hard on their faces in public. Jobs did this so deliberately that it was endearing in a way, much like one can identify with the cuteness of hedgehogs if one doesn’t have to deal with them physically.

But what is most intriguing about Jobs was his talent for selling gold plated stercus. I have never understood the Siren Song of his products, most of which I find unsatisfying, irritating, and frustrating in their incompleteness, that are so attractive – enslaving – to bogs and luvvies. This could be likened, uncomplimentarily, to a used motorcar salsman, but we should have to amend the model to a used motorcar salesman who build his own motorcars from near scratch. The creativity cannot be ignored, nor dismissed, even with the resulting tyranny.

Now back to wondering about neutrinos. One has to wonder why we should expect them to have the same ‘limiting’ speed as photons? After all, their force interactions are different.

humans, behavior, health, society, commerce, physics, computers

Sundae Extratainment

Q: What does the predominance of the sundae programming on the auddio-visual electromagnetic receiver have in common?

A: Bottomless suspension of disbelief.

C: This seems to hold regardless of whether it is religious ‘services’ or advertising.

H: Perhaps the two are really the same?

Property Oligarchy

We come to day four of the captivity. ForecastFox tells me it is -6 degC, 267 degK outside. I will sample the aft porch thermometer in about an hour when I sally forth to disperse seed for the critters.

One of the phenomena I have observed as a result of this weather is greater cooperation, or, at least, less adversity, among the squirrels. Where usually they play games of precedence and body billiards to access the seeds, the last couple of days they have shared. Whether this is a survival mechanism of staying close together to conserve heat or some recognition that the weather is a greater competitor than each other is unclear. But what has emerged from these observations has been some reflections on the nature of government here in Nawth Alibam, and Greater Metropolitan Arab in particular.

From what I can tell, recovery services have been somewhere between abysmal and nonexistent. The larger towns, Huntsville and Decatur, have been careful to make sure the local media prominently features propaganda on how hard they have worked to clear traffic routes while paying false acknowledgment to the total absence of any efforts in the residential areas.

Greater Metropolitan Arab has equally conspicuously done nothing. Numerous of my colleagues and correspondents have remarked on how no city vehicles or crews have been seen, that no streets have been cleared. This may be a matter of sampling far from the mean, but I have to suspect that it is a natural consequence of our form of government.

In recent months it has become evident that what is billed as a democratically elected city government is in reality a government by real estate interests. The majority of elected city officials are either real estate agents or affiliates of that business sector. City policy and action has consistently been supportive of real estate interests and asupportive of the citizenry.

For example, a large parcel of land was purchased and expensively altered for a shopping center. The promise of government was that many chain stores would rush to build on this land. Thus far the only activity there, after almost a year, has been highway disruption and severe erosion. But the real estate agents who form the core of city government increased the Gross Arab Product by selling this land to the city!

This behavior has become noticeably characteristic here in Arab. Government acts in the best interest of real estate cash flow, not in the best interest of the community. Emphasis is on sales, not sustainment. Green is a term applied only to lawn treatment services. Services have steadily deteriorated or vanished. The news of this week’s weather is couched in terms of how it diminished property sales.

But we will have opportunity to see how long the memory of the citizenry is.  

organization, commerce, tyranny

Commercial Message

Taco Bell: Cheap Calories for Sadists

Electronic Miscommerce

It has been raining, not hard, but steadily, since dusk yesterday. I just got back from visiting the Yankee government postal office here in Greater Metropolitan Arab. I waited this late to (a) get there after the postal boxes have been serviced, and (b) a bit later to get past the rush caused by the former.

As it was I was under guidance from FD SCP to purchase additional first class postage so I also had to go into the sales area and queue up. The queue was short and jerky. As I got to the front of the queue I discovered why. A large but ad hoc sign announced that the credit/debit card server was off line due to weather. The largeness was such that one had no problem reading the sign from the front of the queue but not from the back. Hence a lot of folks were getting to the front, seeing the sign, and stomping out in disgust, not a few with words that could get them criminal charges for profanity. [1]

Anyway, my purpose is not to complain about poor administrative practice; this is, after all, the post office. My purpose is to note that this is supposedly the era when we are ceasing to use paper and metal images of discorporated caucasian politicians and transacting money conveyance for goods and services via electronic means. Except when the means don’t work because of the weather. So much for eCommerce! At least in Greater Metropolitan Arab! Or any place in the hinterland!

I stepped to the sales desk. announced my requirement, and presented portraiture. Then gather my box mail, and motored back here chuckling under my breath all the way.

[1] Yes, I know. As a manager working for the Yankee government I had to know about such things. It’s not just the post office, its any Yankee government location. It’s not enforced often; the last time I noticed was in one of the national parks when there was some gathering of boy scouts and it was necessary to maintain good order and decorum.

The other Evolution

As if confirming the stochasticity of the media, my next series of inspections deflated my opinion of the species. First, I see that the recent (modern) republican candidate for chief executive has introduced a bill to throttle the Yankee government communication apparat from actually assuring network neutrality. [Link] I fear the kindest thing that I can comment on this is that it has the effect of making the current incumbent of the office look good, at least in comparison to this cerebrum sterci.

The matter, sir, is simply one that the Yankee government is supposed to protect its citizens from enemies foreign and domestic, and the ISPs who would deny network neutrality are definitely both domestic and enemies of the citizenry! And so, it seems, is the Yankee congress.

Next, in an unsurprise, the Yankee government National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association, the other other uniform service, has released a report about the direness of global climate change. [Link] Almost simultaneously, a whelming group of the nerd societies has advised the Yankee congress that climate change is REAL! [Link]

Two pieces to this. First, the Yankee congress continues to waste probability the species will survive harranging on trivial matters. The question arises that what matters it if 0.25 of the population lacks health insurance if climate change will kill 0.999+ of the population through their inaction? And stifling scientific communication with suppression of network neutrality will make this worse. Can you congress critters spell “dodo bird”? One more example of how the political party system is one of the sternest enemies of the nation.

And while all this ‘fiddling among the combustion’ is occuring, we have word that MalWart will be entering the technical support marketplace. [Link] Right! Have you ever tried to find someone to ask a question of at a MalWart? It’s at least 10dB easier at a Lowe’s. And now they going to do hand holding for bogs on techie matters? Of course they will probably only support the drek they sell in their stores so this may actually be the best thing to happen to the Mom-and-Pop small town IT businesses since John Bardeen and company came up with the transistor. Especially when we consider that not only does MalWart sell real trash electronics in its stores, but they sell it at higher prices than internet.