Color Abuse

Lovely morning. Complete weather disagreement. My browser tells me it is 40 degF here in Greater Metropolitan Arab. My new KDE widget tells me it is 40 degF and my aft porch wireless thermometer proclaims 46 degF. I decided to assay a walk in the park and it was bitter, mostly due to a fine, blowing rain that didn’t quite wet but did conduct. I am still waiting for sensation to creep in under my beard.

The podcast this morning was an episode of “The Pen Addict”, [Link] which primarily has two positive attributes: it is usually long enough to cover my week out sessions – Freya, Saturn, and Sol days; and it makes some other egregiously obnoxious podcasts endurable, primarily Linux podcasts that are sort of Yankee redneck geeky in a computer fashion. TPA is a mixture of British and Gawjah cracker geeky in a paper and pen fashion. Both are flavored with egregiously horrible grammar. Except the Brit. Most of the time. In both cases the useful information is not usually in the main stream but in the side bands. With the Linux podcasts it’s usually some bit of code or a client app that is mentioned in conversation; with TPA it’s usually some notebook, occasionally pen, mentioned in conversation or only present in the notes. But both have the sovereign value of diverting attention, often violently in disgust and/or disagreement, from the unjoy of exercise.

But what struck me as I huddled upon myself along the walking trail at park this morning was color abuse. It is a terrible thing. We humans, especially bogs, tend to try to give names to colors that aren’t. Or, we call things colors that aren’t. Being a good nerd and mediocre physicist (I rather suspect even the best aren’t much better than good?) the only colors are ROYGBIV. In particular, White and Black are NOT colors, the first being a collection of all colors and the second the absence of color. It is particularly tempting to inflict unpleasantness on bogs who misuse these two terms and I have been known to reduce stately but hideously inaccurate, matrons to lachrymation via counseling.

Orange is problematic in that it may also be the name of a fruit. Directionality need be noted here. It is what makes this proper in that the fruit is named for the color, which is indeed a color, of its rind. It is also a rather sad happening since the fruit is not properly exalted due to the absence of useful words that rhyme. But other instances such as Teal (a duck,) Ebony (mineral,) and Khaki (dust) are examples of the mental nastiness of humans misusing language. Sadly such people cannot be identified prior to puberty and “fixed” prior to reproduction, mostly because of inadequate social fiber and testing efforts but mostly because it would eliminate homo sapiens in two generations. It is unclear that his would not be beneficial but since the effort is irreversible, general insecurity and boggishness prevails.

The micturant in the pudding is grey, spelled here in the Yankee republic too often as “gray”. It is clearly not a color and its dictionary definition , an admixture of white and black, is gibberish of the most odious form. It is however, hideously useful. Almost everything ends up grey eventually. It is a somewhat apt description of both my hair and eyes. The term brown is similar. So the slope is not only gradual but lubricated. Even one as whacked as I am is forced by necessity to admit that the purity of real color is polluted by humanity as well as nature – d*** those acomputate biologists! – and more vocabulary than that is needful.

But I can still be obnoxious about it. We humans must suffer for our liberties. Just be happy it’s not a raptor gnawing on your liver.

Which brings us to the subject of liver gravy. But that’s for another blot.

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