One of the joys of living in Nawth Alibam is that you get to observe how unwisdom-ed and whacked most homo sapiens are. Geographically we have an epidemic of a particular form of mental illness of the religionist sort. This takes two forms: christianism; and footballism; although the combination is not unknown. The condition is sufficient that one wonders if there is some infestation of parasite akin to those that take over the brain of ants except that it does so in humans.
This illness is so extreme that the state guvment is continually trying to deny women status as humans. This normally takes the delusion form of when does humanness occur. The date keeps getting moved back towards conception, which leads us to the thought that some requirement to implant television cameras in women’s plumbing so the moment can be observed. Now that’s a unique form of voyeurism even for politicians.
Of course we keep hoping the chamber of thieves politicians in Muntgum will pass a law making masturbation a felony with mandatory death penalty. But then we’d have to elect new thieves politicians continually. The good news is that eventually a majority of them would be women and some sanity might creep into state guvment.
But what I want to really get to this morning is egregiously whacked commercials. I get to see some of these when I am at gym and it is all I can do not to fall off the seat of my stationary bicycle from laughter.
- Electric trimmer for body hair. Evidently it is now unfashionable to have body hair. That’s OK. It was unpopular with the classical Greeks and Romans and the barbarians took care of the aberration. But what is nonsense about this commercial is how the demonstrator tries to clip nose hair with a pair of shears rather than nose hair scissors. Is it just in Alibam that the bogs don’t know of such?
- Rotating bit holder for electric screwdriver. Evidently actors are incapable of using bit chucks on drill and screwdriver motors? The intent is not too bad, providing a means of having a drill bit and a screwdriver bit flip flopping on a drill/screwdriver motor so that you can drill a pilot hole and then put in the screw without changing bits. But the demonstration is so blatantly not trying to work the chuck that my ribs are bruised just looking. And how do they get the flip-flop device into the chuck if they can’t put a bit in?
- Lint roller. Now lint rollers have been around for a long time. FD SCP cannot live without them. But they use a roll of sticky sided tape that you peel off once it gets clogged and discard. This new one is ‘GREEN’ because you just wash it off, adding to the solids burden of the sewage system. But what is rib wracking about this one is the hyperkinetic adult hawking the product and all the don’t-make-sense uses he puts the thing to in the commercial. He does everything except masturbate and if the thing doesn’t sell that is probably next, so maybe we should work on that law again?
Anyway, it struck me that this is a case where clearly we do not have enough leisure time since we are supposed to buy these whacked tools so we can get misuses into play. Something adds up negative here.
I admit to being more of a klutz than almost everyone, but at least I am a rational klutz. I don’t shave off body hair that helps regulate my body temperature and keeps me healthy (relatively!) I can use a clutch and don’t need a flip-flop that falls apart in a week or so. And I don’t go picking up children, small dogs, and floor dirt with a lint roller. I use the proper tool and not some geegaw that doesn’t work.
Has anyone seen my left handed framasickle?
