Cellular Cancer
Starting from LifeHacker there is a rather abortive trail to a study by INTEL on annoying uses of cellular telephones. The reportage is so bad in form as well as substance that I am declining to reference it. My abstraction of the results are, in order of degree, as sorta reported
- While driving;
- Conversing too loudly in public;
- In restaurants;
- In movie theaters;
- In grocery stores;
- In public restrooms;
Notice, pray, what is common here. Too much private activity being conducted in public. And people complain of the erosion of privacy. How can you have privacy in public? Keep you vocal orifice closed!
I have commented on the first often and exhaustively. IMHO such should be forbidden on penalty of involuntary discorporation. Mandatory, unimpeachable cellular signal suppressors in every automobile is the minimum acceptable treatment. Use of the device as a suppository in public is next on the list, preferably liberally coated with acrylic cement.
I find that the best treatment for the rest is obnoxiousness. Make a great show of listening to the conversation. Ask individuals who intrude on your space with their cellular telephone conversations to speak up. If they protest privacy, laugh and point at them as one would primates in zoos. Match them with extraneous, abusive noise. Those who lack manners themselves cannot expect to be treated mannerly by others. I forget which of the founding fathers said that but it was probably one who was good at using a firearm. Alexander Hamilton, perhaps?
Outright nastiness: I am advised by one of my colleagues who speaks the nerdery of cellular phones that if you use a dog whistle, the ultrasonic type, around someone using a cellular phone they will quickly desist in frustration. Something to do with harmonics of the syndrome I am told. And it has the benefit of only annoying the dogs, not the innocent – if there are such – humans. Warning: I have not tested this but I shall shortly.
