Aftermath
I had to motor into Huntsville, Nawth Alibam’s Shining City on the Hill, this morning to under a particularly unpleasant ritual – the removal of “barnacles” from the roots of some of my teeth. Technically the “barnacles” are called calculi which means solid accretions in the body. I refer to the process of barnacle removal because it seems akin to the processes by which barnacles were removed from sailing ships. I believe the technical term for the activity is root planing or scaling.
This is rather a different form of calculus than I am used to and the process itself is not all that unpleasant, although the week of so following is nagging discomfort. Hence my attitude may be rather somber and dark for the next few.
In that vein, I note that the folks who make Old Spice products have committed a vertical copulation. Courtesy of the Huntsville Times [Link] I note that Huntsville came out number eleven on the list of most sweaty cities. The list is obviously whacked because it fails to include the nation’s capital. Anyone who has spent any summertime in the District knows that the capital is situated on the heat exhaust from Tartarus. Also, many southwestern cities made the list. What is evidently missed here is that one does sweat out there but the humidity is so low the sweat evaporates as fast as it forms. So, in summary, a craplist from what are now proven to be crapminds. Pity, I liked their original scent deodorant.
On the more positive side, I note that the lord high justicers of the Yankee government have pronounced that citizens do have the right of self defense using firearms. [Link] Now if those thieves in Montgum can be persuaded to make being armed in public a requirement we can start putting shut to a lot of crime, terrorism, and a general lack of manners. To say nothing of crapminds driving and talking on the cellular telephone.
In which vein I have to hold up the legislators of the Spanish government as an example of integrity, intellect, and concern for their citizenry. [Link] Seems that this august body has extended civil rights to other primates than just humans.
And our last matter is what does one call something bigger than the former planet Pluto that goes around whacking planets? Apparently this is exactly what happened to Mars 3.9 BYA. [Link] We obviously can’t call it a wanderer since that is what planet means. Following the finest scientific tradition, and the recent vertical copulations of the International Astronomical Union, perhaps we should call the beat a Thudoid?
But at least this explains what happened to the Barsoomians? So in their honor perhaps we should call the beast a Burroughs instead? After all, it did make a dent – a burrough – in the planet.
